Can You Stand To Be Alone?
We are a direct reflection of our surroundings and our environment.
We rub off on each other both for the best and, unfortunately, for the worst at times.
We slowly start becoming someone entirely different when we spend too much time around a certain person or in a certain place.
In short, we begin to lose ourselves in whoever we’re putting all of our energy in. Most times, this is in a form of a relationship of some kind.
But, as I’m sure we can all agree, relationships nowadays aren’t like the ones our parents and grandparents had as well.
It seems to many people are rushing at the chance to be with someone for the sake of being with someone and, even worse, they lower their standards out of the fear of being alone.
Just like the elections in America, it seems we are forced to choose the lesser of the two evils.
We choose to be with someone who, may or may not, fulfill us to our entire capacity simply for the sake of having someone there or we stand alone, with only ourselves to keep us company.
What’s wrong with the aforementioned? Well, it’s in my personal opinion, we are our own worst enemy. We, on a very subconscious level, can’t stand to face ourselves.
To me, it almost seems everything is all ass backwards. So my question to you is,
“Can you be alone and be happy?”
New Beginnings Start At Old Endings
We all know someone who can’t be alone. That one person who jumps from relationship to relationship and you can’t make heads or tails of it.
You can’t understand why that person can’t just stop, handle themselves and stop getting into these relationSHITs.
Like a monkey swings from branch to branch; almost instinctively, they continue. Why?
Because we don’t want to deal with who we are as people, ourselves.
We’ve all been there. We’ve settled. We’ve sold ourselves short on a possibility that we weren’t 100% about and, I can guarantee, we’ve all kicked ourselves in the ass for doing it.
And, as I write and you read, you’re thinking back on the time when you were there, yourself.
The memories of the emotions you’ve dealt with looking directly at the person you didn’t really like, who didn’t treat you well and whom, at the point, you couldn’t even remember why you dated them in the first place and you, at that point, can’t believe you’re even in this relationship.
And then, the best thing that could happened happens.
You’re single again.
This is a great opportunity for you to learn something very important that, a lot of people, don’t realize until it’s too late. This is your chance to get to know who you really are, as a person. Not who you THINK you are;Thinking and knowing are two different things.
This is your chance to be without distractions, emotionally external obligations and without a negative presence in your life to dig deep and discover yourself.
“Don’t search for your soulmate. Search for YOUR soul, mate.”
Ultimate Knowledge is Self Knowledge
My mother, when I was growing up, would always tell me a few things that, I believe, everyone can benefit from.
You cannot appreciate anything if you don’t appreciate hard work. There’s a huge disconnect from hard work and reward in the younger generation of entitlements. And, much like in the Health and Fitness community, there is a horrible misconception that great results do not come from hard work but a “magical program” or a “magic pill”. I believe the same in life. You could never appreciate anything given to you as you did nothing to deserve it.
A piece of trash in a nice suit is just well dressed garbage. Perception is the false reality a lot of us have a hard time dealing with. We trust our senses before we pursue any research and, often times, are left shocked at the deception. Whether we’re talking about relationships, life or fitness. We should always read what’s between the lines. Your intuition will always be honest with you, even if others aren’t.
- If you don’t love yourself, you are incapable of loving anyone else. Simply put, you cannot give something you don’t already possess. You cannot give money without having money. You cannot give advice without having experience. So why would you think it would be possible to give love if you do not possess it in your heart?
But, as always, knowing is not enough for our pursuit of self knowledge. We must make the extra effort to apply this to ourselves.
Look in the mirror as you will see your greatest threat.
Strength To Overcome Always Lies Within
Can you honestly say that you know exactly who you are or can you honestly say you accept and love yourself despite your personal flaws?
Though we all have something we want to change, correct or improve, yes; however, I’m referring to the real you.
- The one behind the make up, the mask and the manmade facade that society implies you put on in pursuit of pseudo-perfection.
- The one whom only a few have seen and know of
- The one who is hidden behind your insecurities
- Your most raw form
I believe our biggest misconception is what strength truly is. What it is to be strong. I can tell you what it’s not:
- It’s not having the biggest bench press, squat or deadlift (even though that is pretty awesome)
- It’s not having the biggest, most expensive and newest anything
- It’s not repressing any and every “weak” emotion possible
It’s being human; naturally flawed yet still walking tall, talking the talk and backing up every single word.
Believing in yourself every step of the way. It’s acknowledging your aren’t perfect and that’s alright because no one is.
It’s accepting your flaws and insecurities and not using them as an excuse to not pursue something amazing that you’re very capable of.
It’s knowing your value as a human being and refusing to settle and accept less.
It’s withstanding the storm. Knowing you will be fine, regardless of the outcome.
It’s overcoming limitations. Every time.
Article written by Sean Burton